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Having a fear of solo travel is natural, especially if you’ve never done it before. I remember the days before my first solo trip I was consumed by thoughts like ‘what if I hate it? What if I get lonely? What if something goes horribly wrong and I miss my plane or get kidnapped?’
Solo travel is all about diving into the unknown and taking risks, which by nature is scary. Stuff can go wrong. But instead of focusing on that, just think – what if it all goes right?
There are so many benefits to solo travel. It builds your self-confidence like nothing else. It can give you experiences, friends and memories to last a lifetime. It’s something you’ll feel proud of yourself for doing afterwards. And maybe, like me, you’ll fall in love with it and discover a whole new way of seeing the world.
So, if you’re on the fence about solo travelling and ready to book that first solo trip but something’s holding you back, here’s a couple of tips to shift your mindset on it.
You’ll never feel ready, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it
There’s a never a ‘right time’ to do the things that scare you. Solo travel is for people of all ages; whether your 18 or 58, you’ll probably still feel nervous about taking your first solo trip and that’s okay. Every solo traveler starts somewhere, and you’ll be surprised by how welcoming the traveller community is,
Sometimes, it’s not that the timing that isn’t right, it’s an excuse we make to ourselves to put off doing something that challenges us, even if we know that it will be good for us long-term.
Things can go wrong, and probably will
Here’s a shortened history of my failures while solo travelling; I had my phone and wallet pickpocketed in Prague, had a surfing accident in Bali that meant I needed stitches in my forehead, missed my flight between Norway and Croatia, and suffered from food poisoning more times than I can count.
One of the most common reasons I hear people give for being anxious about solo travel is ‘but what if things go wrong?’ Well, the truth is they probably will.
Things go wrong all the time. But each time they do, you become a little more resilient. You solve the problem yourself, because there’s no one else to do it for you. You learn how to be resourceful, how to problem-solve, and each time you get through something difficult on your own you trust yourself a little bit more to deal with it the next time it happens.
Solo travel taught me that I was more capable than I ever realised. I learnt how to rely on myself and became a more empowered, confident person through those experiences. The skills I gained from solo travel are essential life lessons that have benefited me in every facet of life.
When I was pickpocketed in Prague, I went to the Czech police myself and filed a report even though it was scary. I travelled back to my home country afterwards with nothing but cash. When I had the surfing accident in Bali, I went partying with stitches in my forehead and made the most of it. When I missed my flight, I rebooked myself onto a new flight with a layover to see my best friend.
Even when things go wrong, there are often silver linings.
You might feel lonely, and maybe that’s a good thing
Another fear I often hear is, ‘but isn’t solo travel lonely?’
My answer to that is, ‘what’s so bad about being lonely?’
Yes, it’s true that you won’t have someone with you to share all the highs and lows of travel with. To admire a sunset with, or share a meal. And it does get lonely sometimes, especially if you’re solo travelling for longer periods of time. There have been many times I’ve experienced something beautiful and felt my own joy dulled by the fact that there was no-one to share it with.
But it’s also a matter of mindset. Loneliness can be an opportunity to reconnect with yourself. To feel comfortable with your own company. To practice mindfulness, focus on the beauty of the world around you, and remind yourself that you are complete on your own. Find your own joy, and rediscover what makes you happy.
Pasta doesn’t taste any less good just because you’re eating it alone. A stunning mountain hike isn’t any less awe-inspiring just because you’re hiking it alone. I often find that when I solo travel, I’m actually more immersed in the new place I’m experiencing because I’m not distracted by the company of another person.
Sometimes loneliness is actually a blessing in disguise because it forces you to work on the most important relationship of all: the relationship you have with yourself.
You will make new friends along the way if you want to
Conversely, if you’re worried about being alone all the time and getting too stuck in your head, making friends on the road isn’t hard. All you need is an open mind, a friendly smile and a willingness to talk to strangers.
It will probably feel weird at first, especially if you come from a country where talking to strangers is not part of the culture. But travellers are some of the friendliest people around, and you’ll most likely meet plenty of other solo travellers in hostels or in tour groups that also want to make new friends.
Some of these friendships are transient, fleeting relationships that last for a day, a week, or perhaps a few months. You probably won’t stay in touch with most of them. But occasionally, you get lucky enough to meet people on the road you really click with and something deeper forms.
I met one of my best friends in a hostel in Australia, and 3 years on we still talk often even though we live on opposite sides of the world. Just recently, I got to visit him and stay at his house for a few days on a trip to Philadelphia.
This happened again recently, where I met a girl on a tour group in Ecuador I clicked with. She’s from the Netherlands, and next month I’ll be visiting her in her home city!
The risks are real, but they can be mitigated
Solo travel isn’t risk-free and your mum’s concerns about your safety are valid. Danger is present, especially for solo-travelling women. Unfortunately, as much as it sucks, the reality is that the world’s a more dangerous place for women.
However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t solo travel. There is risk present in everything: driving around your home city, crossing the road, leaving the house. You just need to find a balance between taking fair precautions and avoiding unnecessary risks.
This very much depends on the place you’re travelling to, as well. When I visited Bali, I was much more careful about avoiding street dogs due to the risk of rabies, using mosquito repellent to avoid dengue fever, and being careful about what I ate to avoid Bali Belly. In Colombia, my biggest fear was crime and having my phone stolen, so I bought an anti-theft bum bag I could hide under my shirt.
Caution should always be based on research into the risks present in the place you’re visiting. I would also strongly recommend arranging travel insurance before you leave on your trip, just in case things go wrong. Over my years of travel, I have definitely gotten more money back from my travel insurance than I’ve spent on it.
No-one is paying as much attention to you as you think
I remember when I first started solo travelling, I found eating in restaurants alone to be a painfully awkward ordeal. It meant I missed out on the lot of the food experiences I wanted to try, just because I couldn’t find anyone to go with me. And with hindsight, I really egret it.
The truth is, no-one cares. People are too busy enjoying their own food to stare at you dining solo in a restaurant, or taking a selfie at a pretty tourist attraction. And once you realise that and stop caring what others are thinking of you, you’ll reach a whole new level of freedom. Remember: you’re the main character of your own life, so act like it.
Start small, and challenge yourself with new goals
One good way to ease yourself into solo travel is to start small. Take a solo day trip to a nearby city. Go to the cinema alone. Have a solo date with your book in a cafe.
Once you’re comfortable with these things, you can challenge yourself to go further afield. Maybe a nearby country you could travel to by train/bus. And then somewhere you need a flight to get to. Set yourself new milestones, and each time you tick one off, don’t forget to celebrate it.
What will you regret more – doing the thing, or not doing it?
Sometimes you can write a million pros and cons lists to make a difficult decision, but ultimately it comes down to this: will you regret it one day if you don’t do it? If the answer is yes, then it’s time to book that solo trip.
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